Zorch!

No Meteors here, sorry. I just occasionally get mildly obsessed with the word. Zorch!

What we do have, however, is a breakneck rip through some (requested) ancient delights of the neo and psychobilly variety. A minimum of fuss and less frills than a tin of one penny Tesco beans from me. Leaves more room for the bass slappin', a-team impersonatin', forbidden love rattlin', happy drivin', coffin nailin', apostrophe abusin' musickin'.

Well, something like that, at any rate.


Coffin Nails - Ein Bier Bitte (Nervous; 1987)

1: Skateboard Frenzy
2: Werewolf Bitch
3: Greased Lightning
4: Humungus
5: Let's Wreck
6: The Lone Ranger
7: The Plasma Pool
8: Myra Hindley
9: Natural Born Lover
10: Wind up Dead
11: Penetration
12: Uncle Willy
13: Ain't it True
14: House on the Haunted Hill
15: Brand New Cadillac
16: Outta This World


Even back then, they couldn't spell humongous. But he did play a mean guitar (it persistently refused to share it's sweets with the other instruments), was a bit better than former drummer Dave at singing (a comparison between this original take on "Penetration" and the one on Fistful of Burgers bears this out to a ridiculous degree. Humungus brings a faint air of the ludicrous to the increasingly outrageous rhymes, lending the song the hint of the comic that it needs and that this original somewhat lacks), and also lends his name to the semi-instrumental highlight of the album.

That sad, there are a number of highlights, about 12 out of 16, which ain't bad. Ain't bad at all. In fact, it's pretty fucking good. Just like the album! (although still not as good as Fistful of Burgers, and with a truly shocking album cover. I mean, just LOOK at it. Is that really the best you could do, lads? Is it really?).


Happy Drivers - Indians on the Road (Crazy Love; 1987)

1: Babe Please Don't Go
2: We Shall be Going On
3: My Bopping Rocking Babe
4: The Fun of It
5: Midnight Train
6: Popeye
7: Low Rider
8: Old Black Jack
9: Long Blonde Hair
10: You Will Never Come Back Again
11: Oh Babe
12: My Daddy's Banjo


Upmarket, top drawer neo-rockabilly straight from France. Moves with a real shuffling swagger (or possibly a swaggering shuffle) and, critically, brings it own solid tunes to the revival rather than almost completely relying on the same tired covers and tunetheftery that blights so much of the straightahead neobillysphere. Although, even after all this time, I can't hear him shout anything other than "SADDAM HUSSEIN!" at the start of the first song. It just adds to the experience really, albeit in quite an odd way.


The Rattlers - Never Say Die (Nervous; 1989)

1: Gone Forever
2: Cruisin' Around
3: For Your Love
4: She's the One
5: Savin' it All For You
6: Loaded Dice
7: Leavin' You Behind
8: Never Say Die
9: Man With the Twi-Light Eyes
10: For You, No More
11: Forbidden Love
12: October Moon
13: Never Catch Me Again



More quality neo-rockabilly, with a shade more bite than the 'Drivers (as nobody calls them) and comparable quality of tune. This is most definitely A Good Thing. As is the album, from the first note to the last. Lapses into the slightly stereotypical hiccoughing vocal style prevalent in the genre, but they do it well - and done well, this is also A Good Thing (witness Mark Cole, or Pip Hancox). All this and they still find time for a corking cover of "For Your Love". Whilst there is little that stink up an album faster than a poorly chosen or executed cover version, there are also few quicker ways to an eternal place in my musical heart than a good one. And this is a good one (like, obviously. I wouldn't have called it corking otherwise. Duh). Watch out for the well-spotted and recently requested album highlight "Forbidden Love", too. Very good call, Ronnie.

More from two of these three next time, but I think that is plenty for your musical brains to be getting on with, cementnoggins.