Crawling up from the depths, to terrify and torture!

Okay, so I'm pinching all these titles from 50s sci-fi horror film posters. Today's is from "The Monster that Challenged the World!" (it neglects to say what it challenged it to. I'm suspecting it wasn't a game of darts with the nearest to the bull throwing first), and yesterday's was from, obviously enough, "The Creature Walks Amongst Us!" - a film starring Jeff Morrow and promising "All New Underwater Thrills!". The mind boggles, but only slightly.

A bumper triumvirate of psychotrash, coffintastic psychobilly and genuine classic unbeatable psychobilly/garage. We'll do things in that order - a strong opening, a meaty middle and an end to end all things.




Bananamen - The Crusher EP (Ace; 1983)

A1: The Crusher

B1: Love Me / Surfin' Bird

Bonus! - Psychotic Reaction (from Revenge of the Killer Pussies compilation)

More Stingrays in disguise, but this time all of them and not just Bal (although one Stingray is much better than none Stingray. Unless the Stingray in question is the e-numbered overacting tit on Neighbours). t'Bananamen and Ace records really pushed the boat out with the pretend sixtiesness of this, complete with fake record label "Hava Banana" suitably styled across the middle.

The pretend sixtiesness extends to the opening moments of a violently wonderful take on "The Crusher", with a faux-yank "Okay Bananamen - let's go!" and closes it too with a deadpan "very nice. Next". In between, various shades of hell break loose with Bal going for it like a thousand clones of Lux Interior combined with a liberal splash of Hasil and the Legendary Stardust Cowboy all crammed into one truly wild set of pipes. One of the most invigorating ways to spend 1m48s. Unless you're rubbish at the sex, of course. The remainder, considered on its own, is pleasingly vibrant and helter skelter. But, taken straight after "The Crusher", it can't help but dip. It's just so perfectly formed, unprocessed, wild and, frankly, sexy. The other track to emerge from the Bananamen sessions - "Psychotic Reaction" - is included for the sake of completeness. It's all good, and they make a firm fist of it, but it's never really been a favourite song of mine, whoever performs it. So I'll just listen to "The Crusher" again. I suggest you do the same, forthwith. Linky in the commenty.



Coffin Nails - Fistful of Burgers (Link; 1988)

1: Penetration; 2: Please Little Woman; 3: Come Back to School;
4: Trust in Me; 5: Heartbreak Hotel; 6: For a Few Burgers More;
7: If Your Mother Could See You Now; 8: My Baby Left Me
9: Coffin Nails; 10: Saintly Snails (Blubbery Love);
11: Loose Woman (She's a Moose)

The 'Nails (as nobody calls them) second offering and, to my mind, their best. Original singer buggered off after the debut album, so guitarist Humungus stepped up and realised he was a much better frontman (even if he couldn't spell rite gud). A slinking menacing groove to open which also manages to raise a chuckle or two (although by the end you can see the rhymes labouring their way over the horizon a mile off, it doesn't matter) whilst entertaining musically with a stomping riff part lifted directly from "You Got Good Taste" (which was hardly the most groundbreakingly original song in the first place).

Don't be fooled though, this is no comedy record (the wit, for want of a better word, persists throughout mind). They rattle through an entire set of minor Psychobilly classics, each graced by and laced with strong vocals, rumblingly solid drums and a bang-up stand-up bass. It's a strong mark of the album's quality that the one cover, the oddly lifeless "Heartbreak Hotel", is the noticeable low point of it - which is quite something coming from me. As anyone will tell you, I'm a confirmed coveraholic. Some days, I find myself drinking upwards of four bottles of coverahol a day. As eponymous title songs go, you'd have to walk a long and fucking tiring mile to find one more rocking than "Coffin Nails" (it tires me out just listening to it) and, as should always be the case, they save some of the very best for the very last - strolling off into the sunset with a Loose, Loose Woman (sort of a spiritual cousin to The Sharks' "Hooker"). She's a MOOSE!



Tall Boys - Island of Lost Souls b/w Another Half Hour til Sunrise (Big Beat; 1982)

A1: Island of Lost Souls
A2: Another Half Hour 'til Rise


Rising from the ashes of The Meteors (who weren't actually burnt, and continued quite happily and productively for many years without him), the genius of Nigel Lewis emerged, grabbed bandmember Mark Robertson and became the Tall Boys. Well, to be actually frank, honest and truthful, he became the Escalators first, then the Tall Boys. But although the Escalators were a fine incarnation and will get their own post in due course, I prefer the Tall Boys (I pretty much prefer them to any other band, although this changes on a daily basis) and it's my blog, so I'll be taking the wholly inaccurate poetic license. Also, P. Paul Fenech makes a damn fine guitar appearance on the second of the two songs. And both songs were featured on The Meteors compilation Teenagers from Outer Space (which, for some reason, doesn't include the mighty "Teenagers from Outer Space". Why? Why do bands do this to me? Name an album after a song that isn't on it? I can't put my finger on why, but for some reason when this happens my goat is well and truly got). So the whole ashes/rising thing was a complete waste of time. Still, I've typed it now, so it's bloody well staying.

Nigel is on rare form on this. The only man on earth who could make shouting "HEEELLP" like a terrified lobotomised docker (whilst not looking wholly dissimilar) sound sexy. Another Half Hour til Sunrise is the riproaring soundtrack to a thousand unmade zombie films. Both songs are the germs of the Tall Boys strong b-movie feel and whilst this is more obvious in the title of the other song, the overtones are strongest in this. It rattles, rocks, rolls, reels, ravages and several other things, many of them beginning with the letter "r". And does everything perfectly. Not a note out of place, not an ounce of energy left unwrung. Well, nearly everything. I might be being a little picky, but over the course of the last twenty years, the lines "somethings are best left alone / the lady in the bookshop said / even Jesus had more sense / than to try and raise the dead" have nagged away at me. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT MR. JESUS FICTIONAL CHRIST DID, DUDE. The whole Lazarus thing. I mean, he was probably only actually asleep, but according to the plot of that Bible book, JESUS RAISED HIM FROM THE DEAD. Rising lazarus-like from the dead. Sayings like that wouldn't exist if Jesus hadn't had a stab at necromancy, Nigel. Sort it out. Still, one of the finest songs in all God's wonderful creation (I'm hedging my bets after that last bit).

Island of Lost Souls is no poor cousin. My favourite of the two is liable to change on any given day. A lovely, lolloping, bouncing bassline leads us through the song by a very happy nose. It lulls you into a false sense of security, building in intensity almost unnoticed, the pleasant, almost hawaiian guitar lines playing counterpoint to an increasingly powerful bassline underpinned by initially understated drums that punctuate the songs crescendo of a final minute. The whole thing is a vague, slightly blathering musing on mutants, humans and humanity, but it doesn't matter one tiny bastard iota. The song is a stonking behemoth of music, and none of Nigel's lyrics get the Bible wrong. Biblically accurate linkomment below.

So there you have it. Or rather, them. Presented for your musical and literary edification. I take requests (of the musical variety, not of the kind that request places I can shove my witterings), so feel free.